WORSHIPING BRAD by Richmeier Terry

Author:Richmeier, Terry
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: UNKNOWN
Published: 2020-07-17T00:00:00+00:00

One weekend after a really busy schedule, I caught a cold. I was so tired and so sick. I made a call to JC and told him to cancel my clients until further notice. I didn’t wait for a reply and just hung up. I needed a break. A mini-vacation. I fought the cold, the cocaine, and sleep. That weekend I went on a drinking binge. I felt that I had to rebel against my entire life. JC continued to call me. Hour after hour and day after day. I didn’t respond. I just laid in my bed looking up at the ceiling. I didn’t see the ceiling but somewhere off in the distance. Somewhere, I couldn’t figure out where.

I wanted to be back at that place where I was adored. But no, that wasn’t it. I wantedto be loved. I thought that I could get there again but didn’t know where there was. I looked for my soul but couldn’t access it. It too was buried inside those emotions were. I thought about suicide, but I didn’t want to die. I wanted to live. Just not here. Just not right here but somewhere. I wanted to live in the United States. That’s where I will be happy. Every United States citizen that I met was happy and had lots of money. They always tipped me well. That’s why I knew that I wanted to live in the United States.

Yep, I was indeed lost. The people that I met at the club, they weren’t friends. They never were. They were constantly jealous and judging. I was tired of having sex. I was tired of entering people and tired of them entering me. There wasno longer a thrill and I wasn’t even adored anymore.

The knock at the door and then, a note left when I didn’t answer, told me that I had forgotten to pay the rent. How could I forget that? I didn’t have anything left to pay it. I couldn’t begin to deal with that right now. So, I just laid back on my bed and let the note fall to the floor.

My cold was better a week later when I called JC. He wasn’t interested in talking to me. I apologized, buthe told me that he didn’t have anything for me right now. I know that wasn’t true. I was being punished. But Papa, I begged of him, I was so sick. He always liked it when I called him Papa but he just hung up on me. I told myself that I would call him the next day. I went back to my bed and slept. Waking up, I felt terrible. I had slept for the whole night. That wasn’t like me. I didn’t have much cocaine left. I needed more. I needed money.

I thought, “Damn you JC for punishing me.” I tried to call him again but got the same answer. I yelled into the phone about how badly I needed a hit of cocaine. He said that I should have thought about that when I blew him off and then he hung up on me.

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